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September 06, 2005

 

THE BICYCLE PRESIDENCY

Gas prices soar. Pain at the pumps. Tax cuts to the Middle Class seen as conspiracy. The reason George B., B as in bicycle, Bush pushed for tax cuts for workers making less than $100,000 yearly was that his "Big Oil" advisors said that the workers might soon need the extra cash to get to work. The poor received no break, "They don't work...they can ride bikes."

On a more serious note, the American electorate chose for their Chief Executive a man with zero track record of success, a man thoroughly in bed with 'oil' interests and who admittedly did not even know world' foreign leader's names, much less having ever engaged in diplomacy beyond his 'aw shucks' roots. In a televised interview with Donald Trump pre-election, Donald said he knew and liked both aspirants and indicated no preference. However, in an unnoticed throwaway line 'the Donald' said, "However, resumes do count."

Indeed they do. If you hate gays you're still in good hands with G. B. but otherwise the American way of life has got hiccups approaching strep throat. The average time for Middle Easterners to hold resentments is 612 years unless they're really angry, in which case, double it. We are going to be bracing against terrorists for "some" time. Also if we are finally to take time out from sending jobs to China, India and so forth, so that their citizens can buy cars and raise oil demand even higher and commence a concerted effort to conserve here at home, we're still in a bind from greedy negligence that will last two decades minimum. As school administrators across the nation in coming days turn to their taxing sources for budget supplements to cover busted busing budgets there is going to be real pain. As parents and towns have to scrimp and bleed to get children to school. "No Child Left Behind' may take on a whole new meaning.

However, there is an alternate conspiracy theory which should lift our hearts. It is: The tree huggers and the 'greenies' secretly voted for George, not because he seemed like a regular guy which is why many policy-adverse swing voters x'ed his name, but because they figured he'd get it so wrong that their policy goals might be met sooner."

And, Lordee salvation is at hand. Prediction: Hummer Sales' plummet. Purchase of SUV's off by 38%. Daily oil imports shrink by 950,000 barrels a day. Car efficiency up 22%, slated to double by 2009. Mileage down. Toxic spewing into environment off by 750 million tons a year. All Kyoto goals worldwide met or exceeded. Green Peace reduced to quibbling about the relative advantages of antioxidants in green tea versus coffee.

And a cry went out in the land ....."Son, no car keys tonight.! Take your bike, like Mom and I do." Obesity was no more.

One man, his war and his bicycle. God bless you George and the way that you have shown us.

Except for hating the gays, of course.





'TOKYO AND TEXAS'*


*(a prophecy?/June 20, 2004)


I recently went to Tokyo,
gosh, they all speak Japanese!

In Rome, in church, guess?
people praying on their knees.

In West Texas, oil men, so friendly,
saying, "I'm honest" with a drawl.

and, "Shucks son, I'm so sorry,
it didn't work out for y'all."

by CAJ

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