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February 03, 2006

 

THE DADDY PARTY

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The Dramatist of Wisdom Past spoke with me last night.

“If when the administration knuckleheads are informed that “The terrorists are coming, (the ones who have been blowing up our embassies and attacking the World Trade Center.) The Terrorists are coming, through the air,” they see no photo op or political gain, they do nothing.” They do the Crawford thing.

“If when the administration knuckleheads are informed that it is likely that the levees will be breached and thousands may die, seeing no photo op or political policy mandate, they do nothing.” They do the Crawford thing.

Now having been caught red handed, to a one hundred per cent degree of certainty, violating the letter and the spirit of all recent domestic eavesdropping legislation the aforementioned political impresarios see paydirt. “We are the Daddy Party. We are the tough guys,” they chant whilst gleefully reviewing polls that back their slogans.

This spying, they say, is too, too secret for the Daddy Party to be airing it in public by doing the legal thing.

(Let‘s listen in on recent public utterances vis a vis the secret National Security Agency.)

Daddy: This spying is for the Daddy Party. It’s way too secret to discuss. If you talk about our spying, well, you’re the Mommy Party, you’re aiding the enemy.

Tourguide: Do you all have your maps? We’re on our way to Fort Meade, the previously unknown headquarters of the previously unknown National Security Agency which, although it’s way to secret to be talked about in public is known as ‘NSA.’ Actually NSA stands for no-such-agency if you, hee, hee, know what I mean.
The unknown agency is located umpteen miles from the Capitol, the routes are all marked out on your maps. It is situated on umpteen acres, has umpteen buildings and umpteen employees.

Look, there is your Presidential convoy arriving at the unknown agency at its never discussed location, bringing your President to talk to the umpteen employees which number was heretofore classified but now its part of today’s international media presentation.

Aha! I see you in the back there, Mr. Al Jazeera. Might I respectfully suggest that you keep your cell phone off for the remainder of today’s presentation?

OOPS, silly me Mr. Jazeera. That man in the black coat over there has indicated, well actually several men in black coats have indicated, that it would be just jolly good of you to use your cell phone to your heart’s desire. And you know what, may I call you Al, Mr. Jazeera, feel free to use your laptop and your Blackberry at your convenience.

You are quite welcome Al. That is what you said wasn’t it. “Thank you?” It might help if you spoke a little louder, hee, hee, if you catch my drift buckeroo.

Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats. It will be just a few moments before the worldwide head of our unknown agency takes the podium to speak to the world.

That will be followed by the President making an internationally televised address of his photo shoot with the thirty thousand, oops, umpteen thousand unknown employees.

While you are waiting you may want to check out a new web site that has of late quintupled in size weekly. It is called Facts and Histories of Unknown Spy Agencies.org. Also the men in the black coats have, off the record, advised that calling Baghdad is not recommended and that googling for the words Daddy Party and Blown Cover might not be in your best interest.

And here is the President:

Daddy: Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, distinguished heretofore secret agents of NSA and Hi Al, (got a front row seat did ya?,) I’m glad you all could be with us today. Polls consistently show that the majority of you, my fellow citizens want us, the Daddy Party, to keep things all hush hush and I’m here to tell you that hush hush it’s going to be, all the way to the Supreme Court (hee, hee that’s really me) ........

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