May 02, 2007
I Need Me a War Czar
(Let's listen in on a White House conversation.)
Bush: Hey. Have you come up with that Czar guy yet?
Under qualified evangelical Lackey: We're having problems Mr. President. We inputted high profile names and created a values' friendly list of those that hate gays, family planning and abortions; then we cross referenced this list to those that would be willing to let the Rove propaganda section politically sloganize any major ideas or pronouncements they might have: then we tested the then remaining candidates as to could they swallow their most heartfelt opinions if those opinions might be in disagreement with yours, praise Jesus.
Bush: And? Who did y'all come up with?
Under qualified evangelical lackey: Harriet and Brownie top the list for those currently available. George T. was on it but he's now left the sanctuary. Alberto and Condi got top grades too, but well, they already work for you.
Bush: Well, can't you tweak the inputs a little to get more names? Did you hear that? I said, "Tweak the inputs a little." That's pretty savvy, isn't it. "Tweak the inputs." I like that. I'm not as isolated and uninformed as people think I am. Am I?