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July 16, 2007


God Discusses Condoms: Papal Penis Proclamations Flawed

I just spoke to God. He said, "My plan for the planet earth is a forty per cent reduction in homo sapiens to three point eight billion inhabitants, you know, global warming, famines and all that shit.
A large component of the math is the 'how many babies per couple?' formula.
This turns out to be one point two six children per do-it-yourself couple planet wide.
This takes getting a whole bunch of weenies and vaginee parts to leave each other alone. Ergo, he continued, I'm going to crank up production of my weenies of mis direction children , or WMDs as the Neo-Theos call them until at such time that the planet's CO2, oxygen, food, water, etc return to homeostasis. This I call 'harmony with the divine.'
Actually, I sent Mr. Darwin down to sort of explain it all, but that's another story.
Speaking of other stories, Mr. Kvatch on his blognonymous website gets a gold star for his comments on the need for and the long term benefits from non reproductive sexual behavior.
Given his well honed sense of humor, may I ever so deliciously point out to him that if the NeoTheos and Big Benny forwent the skinny dipping good, Papal Penii Protection Bad Proclamations and pedalled condoms worldwide like their bigoted, capalist, money grubbing asses were falling off, I would not have to alter your planet's sexual mores for, hmm, let me see, I've got my notes right here, the next thirty one thousand years.

"Christ, is that right? Thirty one thousand.....?"

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31,000! Probably take care of that global-warming thing pretty handily. ;-)

Thanks (to you and God) for the mention.
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