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August 21, 2007

 

The Evolution of the Republican Presidential Contenders

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"When the Truth came knocking"

The moderator says to the assembled Republican Presidential contenders, "This is an open question for the candidates."

Evolution theory holds that man is a direct genetic descendant of hairy, arm swinging, tree climbing African apes who apparently survived despite having only crude rudimentary mental processing skills. The scientific process of carbon dating confirms the dates for such evolution and shows that man in this sense predates the Bible's time line by hundreds of thousands of years at a bare minimum. What is your opinion on the validity of carbon dating?

Romney: People will say there was a time that I embraced carbon dating but in my maturing process I have opened my eyes to how destructive liberal ideation can be to man's ascent. Junk science should not be employed to accelerate the decline of our moral virtues.

McCain: I am a firm believer that the age of the earth is a matter of state's rights.

Thompson: The media's obsession with my wife's youth has reached a new low. They're saying that she is in effect 'carbon dating' which I find offensive.

Brownie and Huckee (in unison): "Attacks on religious values are a staple of our opposition. Brothers and sisters, let us pray for God's hand to smite the ballot boxes of the heathen."

Giuliani: "Believing in evolution is weakness in the face of the enemy. It allows terrorist scum and their nine eleven democratic party appeasers amongst us to encircle our homes and maim our children. Science in pursuit of planetary wide war is to be exalted but to use it to appease Islamofascist aggression is treason. As I've previously said, nine or eleven times, I will only appoint judges that know the ramifications of using science in pursuit of weak kneed terrorist lovers.
Craig Johnson

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Comments:
This is really great- as I just said at Kiko's House, where I believe I spelled your name wrong, I am linking to my own blog.

Hope you do not mind!
 
Thanks for the laugh. But you know what happens to bloggers who make me laugh? They get added to my blogroll. And that, my friend, means they're subject to at least one more visit per month.
 
thanks guys - you brightened my day nicely.
Your blogs are rippers, will 'roll yu anon. All hail Kiko!
Actually you can vote for ol' kiko at blogger choice awards best political blog just to warm Shaun ees heart.

be well, craig
 
cognito_rex craig johnson cognitorex@verizon.net address mail
dalton ma meditation cognito_rex
 
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